So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
