Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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