dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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