whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
