I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I want a musical about memes.
its liver damage thursday
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize