just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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