I showed him my bush... on skype.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
