We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
