party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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