U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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