Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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