I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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