I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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