the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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