I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
