it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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