Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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