I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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