worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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