Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
