everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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