i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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