worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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