we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
