just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
