a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
