NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
