fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
