Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
