from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
