Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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