fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
