Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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