i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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