Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
