dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
