I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
