She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dick very happy bro
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize