Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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