The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
