That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
