You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
