I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
