problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
