This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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