help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
