he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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