carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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