omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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