Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
