Can i not drive my cunt home
another moral hangover. fuck.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
