i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
