what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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