She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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