this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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