i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
