There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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