Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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