Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
zippers are such a cool invention
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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